Ek lief jou meer!

Ek is so verskriklik lief vir jou
kannie glo ons is saam
is mal daaroor as jy jou arms om my vou
en hoe jy my soen onder die maan!

Het vergeet hoeveel liefde ek het om te gee
en te kan se ek het nie meer seer
saam stap ons elke tree
en kan ek met alle eerlikheid se, ek lief jou meer!

Carike Klokow

March 8th, International Women's Day

This year we commemorate one century of this particular "holiday", but what are we commemorating? What have we to celebrate?
Every day we see that gender violence is still a reality for millions of women around the world. We also see thousands of women imprisoned for exercising their human rights. Hundreds of women die every day defending those rights.
What is there to celebrate? What do we commemorate? The fact that regardless of the risks taken, we still have brave courageous women willing to risk life and limb to be free, to have a voice that will not be silent, women that go beyond the basics and speak out and encourage and support others to stand strong and show that they are not "the weaker sex", they are equally strong and possess the same needs and desires and we have plenty of examples to prove it.
We have women all over the world who have excelled in many fields and have braved the odds to come out stronger.
All throughout history we can find women that make it necessary to change the saying "behind every great man, there's a great woman" for "alongside every great man, there's a great woman".
So instead of celebrating or commemorating women on "their day", we need to acknowledge them every single day just as we do with their male counterparts, no more, no less.
From the mid-wives to Françoise Barré-Sinoussi, from Sacajawea to Valentina Tereskova, from Abigail Adams to Alice Paul, women have been making the difference not just for women, but for humanity; but let's not forget that they were working alongside men who believed them to be their intellectual equals.
So let's make this year a true year of remembrance of those men and women that have paved the way for all of us, and of those who at this very moment are working to change the world, one woman at a time, and one man at a time too. The day we stop believing that we need vindication for the past wrongs we've endured, then will we be truly equal in our own eyes and therefore, the eyes of others.
Take my thoughts to consideration, or not, after all... I was just thinking.

Dia internacional de la mujer

Dia?

En el metro

A ver, que alguien me explique esta nueva del gobierno capitalino.
Para evitar asaltos (y fajes), las autoridades han decidido que no se usen todos los vagones del metro despues de las 22:00 horas. Si yo fuera asaltante, ¡me aprovecho de que ahora lostenog a todos juntitos! Si es cierto que se usan los ultimos vagones para asaltar, ¿no será igual de fácil asaltar los vagones centrales?
Ahora, lo que se reporta es que las aglomeraciones fueron tremendas este viernes pasado cuando se implementó la medida, entonces, los vagones no van tan solos como para que se aporveche ningun asaltante. Ademas de que con gente apretada, las carteras, los relojes y las bolsas son mucho mas accesibles para el experimentado carterista.
Se reporta tambien que no se respetaron los vagones exclusivos para mujeres y niños, entonces estamos hablando de que nos importa que a las mujeres no se les moleste, apretuje, manosee y carteree durante el dia, pero a partir de las 22:00 horas, el que quiera nos puede restregar todo lo que quiera donde quiera y hasta donde quiera sin mayor consecuencia porque los apretones estan maravillosos.
Esta medida parece como el hombre a quien le duele el dedo y se lo corta para que ya no le duela.
¿no sería mucho mejor que los oficiales encargados de no dejar pasar a la gente a los ultimos vagones se dedicara a vigilarlos? Un policia por tren que de estacion a estacion se alternara entre vagones sería mucho mejor que cuatro o cinco en las estaciones diciendole a la gente que tiene que viajar toda apretujada porque un oligofrenico con hueso no sabe como proteger a la ciudadanía.
Bueno, eso por un lado. por otro se encuentra la motivacion alterna, la homofobia, se dice que otra razon para cerrar los vagones es porque las parejas de homosexuales los usan en la noche para fajar. Yo en lo particular he visto personas de todas las preferencias sexuales fajando en el metro a todas horas y digo lo que siempre digo: cada quien y lo que quiera hacer público. Si te ofende, volteate, si se pasan, diles amablemente que para eso hay hoteles, pero tanto unos como otros deben de respetarse. Nadie mencionó las parejas heterosexuales que llegan incluso al sexo oral en los vagones, tal vez el público en general no se molesta por el "sex show" mientras no se perturbe su homofobia.
Sea cual sea la razón de la medida, lo unico que ocasiona es conflicot para los usuarios. de por si, no es nada agradable tener que viajar en metro a altas horas de la noche, ahora, imaginense tener que sufrir aglomeraciones a todas horas y no solo en las horas pico.
No cabe duda de que el encargado de seguridad publica y el de urbanismo estan en su puesto por un error y no por competencias.

Does being online put you on the line?

"We met online". Ever said that to someone about a friend or relation? If so, were you taken seriously about the way you felt? If the other person laughed at you, don't feel bad, you're not alone. Most people around us tend to dismiss online relationships as "not real". Now, I'm in no way an online relationship expert, however, I am a "long distance relationship" experienced person, how? The first years of my now failed first marriage were long distance, my oldest friend and I have been living in different hemispheres for the better part of 30 years,one of my closest friends for the past 5 years is a man that I have never met in person! Same thing with a new developing relationship I have now. One must ask oneself, how can you be close to a person you've never seen? but we've seen each other, and talked for hours on the phone, we've shared many crises and joys together. Together? They live in other countries and continents and I in Mexico!
I've been reading a lot about online relationships, romantic attachments, cyber dating, and the new way of relating to people across the globe. there are lots of things to watch out for and lots of drawbacks about having emotional attachments with persons that you do not see in the regular basis, but there are also some advantages to it. I contact my oldest and dearest friend in a daily basis in Argentina and we both know what's happening in each other's lives with one click of the mouse. On the other hand, sometimes I'm unable to have lunch to catch up with friends that work in the same building with me!
One interesting statistic that I found was that as time progresses, online relationships, or long distance relationships, have a better chance of continuing on that proximal relationships. It could be the annoying little habits that we all have and that we are able to ignore when we don't have the person in front of us; it could also be the fact that an online relationship doesn't interfere with our daily activities that much; or maybe is the fact that whenever we get to chat, message, e-mail or text our online friends/significant others, is because we really want to tell them something, whereas, in proximal relationships, we could feel stuck meeting someone when we really don't feel like it.
In asking people what they thought about online relationships I was told that no matter how strongly you may get to feel towards the person on the other side of the web, we all need human contact and a physical relationship. I do recognize the importance of human touch, yet, I wonder if we forget that as time progresses in a relationship, the physical part of it, either absorbs the whole of the relationship and then communication stops to give way to the will of the body, or it fades away bit by bit. This fading of the physical part is inevitable in the case of long term relationships that go on for several years. Here, two things can happen, the first is the one that we all hope for, the common goals, similar interests, shared life experiences, etc, can make the relationship work for a very long time, in fact, this is the way things were for our grandparents. the other thing that can happen is what we see everyday: boredom takes over, nothing in common, or everything in common and no conversational skills make the relationship fail.
Now, following this, I went online to look for other opinions on cyber relationships and found that the opinions of everyday people were very polarized and of course, the people that supported cyber relationships were in one, had been in one or were looking for one in cyber dating sites; the other opinions were on the opposite side of the coin, claiming that online friends or lovers are not real, people online tend to lie about themselves, a lot of people take advantage of others thanks to the relative anonymity of the web. Experts in relationships tend to be on the fence about this, they recognize the risks involved in dating online and reminding us that we get lied to and taken advantage of in the world world also.
The way I look at the whole of meeting and keeping friends and lovers online is this: The key to any relationship is communication, whether is talking, chatting, e-mailing, touching etc. when communication stops, all goes to hell. love and friendship are formed inside our heads, nowhere else, and a wise person once told me, the mind doesn't distinguish from the emotions created by a word said and one written.
What makes me chuckle is how people get surprised when there are some of us that are able to keep contact and emotional attachment with people on the other side of the globe when this is not new. Back before there was internet, remember that time? people had pen pals, people they wrote to and didn't meet for years, if ever. It also makes me think of the correspondence marriages and mail brides. For a long time, people have been looking for people to connect to, we've just learned one more way, one that has to do with the instant result we expect in our lives, but this acquaintances, friends, lovers are just like the old time pen pals, mail brides and correspondence marriages.
The only piece of advise I can give you is this: be safe. Whether it is online or in person, take care of yourself and pursue happiness any way you can.

For the New Year

This one is going to be a fun one.
We all know that there are things people do on New Year's Eve to bring us luck on the coming year.
Every year I try to do something different on the eve of the new year and as a result, I have a collection of charms and rituals that have been passed down to me from all kinds of traditions; but where does all of this come from?
Since time immemorial, people have been trying to improve their luck and it is thought that there's no better time than on the eve of a new year.
The Celts and Romans did this on the eve of what they considered the beginning of their year, for the Romans was the Vernal Equinox, for the Celts was October 31st. Whatever the date we use for it, we have attached magic and mystery to the last night of the year.
For us living in the western hemisphere, this happens on the Night of Saint Silvester, December 31st. On that night, we believe, doors are opened between this and other realms that allow magical things to happen, so, if we want to affect our luck for the future, we should try to do so on this particular night.
Now for the plethora of options to bring luck.
My grandmother used to say that if you take out your suitcases several times at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, you would travel, and that the amount of times and the time it took you to go back in the house meant times traveling and length of the trips.
You are supposed to make a lot of noise at the stroke of midnight to warn off evil forces from your home, this is a gift from the oriental civilizations.
If you want all that went wrong with your life during the year to disappear so you can start over clean, you should go to a crossroads and smash an egg with all of your might, also at the stroke of midnight; this one is mine and my source has to remain secret to protect a covenant made.
Write a wish on a piece of paper and wrap it around a coin, dip it in water and ask all of your guests to do the same, at the stroke of midnight, take one of the coins out (without knowing who's it is) and carry it with you all year long; mum told me that one.
There are people that wash the floors of their home before midnight with the water from a flower vase that had a dozed white flowers for 3 days.
One of my neighbors passes under the table at the stroke of midnight for good luck.
This one is famous all over: you're supposed to eat 12 grapes, one with each of the 12 bells at midnight, asking one wish per grape.
Of course, you're also supposed to kiss and get kissed at the stroke of midnight, and hug your loved ones.
The person that gets hit by the flying cork when the champagne or hard cider bottles get opened is to be married soon, possibly within a year (specially if they got kissed under the mistletoe he he).
One of my favorites is the one that involves the clothes you're supposed to wear for good luck. Never wear black, wear blue; preferably wear new clothes, this is easy if you got clothes as a gift for Christmas. (This one works backwards in my family, but then again, being a witch, black is my lucky color)
If you want to be lucky in business and moneymaking, you should wear yellow underwear, for luck in love, red is the color, now if all you're aiming for is sex, get some black undies and that should do it. Of course, the undergarments have to be a gift to be truly effective.
So, if you want to try your luck at any of these, feel free to do so, the least that can happen is that you'll have something new and fun to do this New Year's Eve with your guests.
Good Luck to y'all for the next year ;)

The Tree in Your Living Room

Where did it come from? That beautiful tree that we decorate each December and dread to put away in January has a long long history and here is a bit about it.

For centuries before the dawn of Christianity, people observed that certain plants and trees stayed green and with abundant foliage during the cold harsh weather in winter; this, of course, puzzled and amazed the inhabitants of different countries.
Winter has always been associated to the time of the year where the Earth "dies" and those plants and bushes that kept their live appearance gave people hope for a new life and renewal at the end of the season.

Several peoples brought the greens indoors as a symbol of the triumph of life over death. They would decorate them with fruit ans spices, bows and ribbons.
Naturally, each civilization gave this ritual different textures and associated it to myths that would match the spirit of their other traditions.
The actual "tree" as a winter tradition was started in Germany, around the 16th century, and here it was adopted as a Christian tradition, it is believed to have started with Martin Luther.

Another very essential piece of greenery found in our homes during the winter festivals is Mistletoe, and we all take pleasure in kissing whoever happens to be standing under it all month long. Where did this tradition start?

In Ancient Greece as part of the Festivals of Saturnalia (dedicated to Saturn) in December; people believed that it contained "life giving" powers as well as fertility. In the Scandinavian Peninsula, people believed it to be a plant of peace, under which, enemies (or warring spouses) would "kiss and make up". In England, during the holidays, any girl standing under the mistletoe ball cannot refuse to be kissed or she runs the risk of not marrying along the year, and the mistletoe ball must be burned on the twelfth day or the couples that kissed will not marry at all.

Whether it is a tree or a ball of mistletoe, place a bit of greens inside your home, you'll be inviting Mother Nature with Her promise to be reborn come Spring.